Our children are growing up in a world that’s vastly different from the one we knew, with their car seats facing backward as they look toward the future. While technology often takes the spotlight for changing childhood experiences, there’s another powerful shift occurring in families: Fatherhood. Research from 2017 shows that fathers today are more involved than ever before, and this increased involvement is reshaping the way kids experience the world and view themselves. Today’s dads are doing great, but society could do more to help them be the dads they want to be.
Dads want to be equal parents
Modern fathers are taking parenting more seriously than ever before. They spend three times more time with their children than fathers did two generations ago, and they are more hands-on during that time. In 1982, 43% of dads admitted they had never changed a diaper. Today, that number has dropped to just 3%. Research shows that when dads change diapers, bathe, and dress their babies, the father-child relationship strengthens as the child grows.
Today’s dads, especially millennial fathers, have more egalitarian views on childcare and want to divide parenting duties more evenly at home. While things aren’t perfect—many dads acknowledge that moms still do more—the data shows progress. A 2017 study found that modern dads are doing 30 more minutes of household chores per day than their fathers did, and they are spending more time with their kids overall. This shift benefits everyone: daughters are learning they are just as capable as boys, and sons are seeing that housework is part of being a responsible adult, no matter your gender.
This trend is also strengthening marriages. Research indicates that when 60% or more of parenting responsibilities fall on moms, relationships between parents suffer. However, when dads take an active role in household duties, relationships improve. Simple actions, like dads loading the dishwasher, make a big difference.
Dads feel #dadguilt, too
Even with these positive changes, today’s dads often experience dad guilt and feel conflicted about their roles. Despite being more involved, many dads still feel they aren’t doing enough, and in many households, moms are still taking on more. This can cause tension between partners. As marriage therapist Jill Whitney points out, dads might see how much more involved they are compared to their own fathers, but their partners may feel like things aren’t entirely balanced yet.
A 2017 study showed that working moms had less than an hour of leisure time, while dads had almost two. Studies also show that moms tend to multitask more than dads. Dads understand this imbalance, and Pew Research found that half of dads want to spend more time with their kids but face obstacles like work-life balance challenges.
Dads need support, too
Many dads express a desire to be more involved, but public policy and social structures often make it difficult for them to do so. Kevin Shafer, an associate professor at Brigham Young University, points out that fathers want to be more nurturing, but workplace policies often prevent them from fully engaging in family life. His research highlights that fathers are more emotionally engaged and better co-parents when they work for organizations that support family involvement.
The need for paid parental leave for both moms and dads, as well as changes in workplace culture, is more urgent than ever. Research also shows that many dads are caught between climbing the corporate ladder and spending quality time with their children. As the Boston College study found, these dads prioritize their kids’ interests but are often pulled by the demands of their careers.
Workplaces need to adjust to support all parents. By doing so, the number of dads who share parenting duties equally (currently one in three) could rise, closer to the two-thirds of fathers who want to be more involved.
Dads are being seen
Though the journey isn’t without challenges, it’s clear that today’s dads have made remarkable progress. We see it in our families and on social media, where celebrity dads like The Rock and John Legend are openly sharing the hands-on roles they play in their children’s lives. Today’s fathers are more involved, more engaged, and, increasingly, more supported in their parenting journey.