A woman has expressed her frustration after her 24-year-old friend, Anna, recently welcomed her first baby. Since then, she hasn’t been able to go anywhere without bringing her baby along. 

Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, she claimed that her friend’s insistence on bringing her baby everywhere has led to an imbalance in their friend group that’s become a point of contention.

A mom was ‘disappointed’ her child-free friends stopped inviting her places.

In her Reddit post, the 24-year-old woman explained that their friend group, aside from Anna, is relatively childfree, considering most of them are barely in their mid-20s. 

Before Anna had her baby, their entire group of friends would hang out together all the time, but since Anna had her baby, she noted that the dynamic had suddenly changed.

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“Anna wanted to bring the baby everywhere with her and it’s a baby. We tried to plan things around baby to include Anna but it always ended up badly. We shouldn’t drink because Anna can’t drink. We shouldn’t be loud because [the] baby needs to sleep,” she shared.

The mom was unwilling to compromise on bringing her baby to every get-together, so her friends started organizing outings without her.

She admitted that it’s become a bit of a “downer” inviting Anna because of how much they have to accommodate and change their plans for their newly-turned-mom friend. So, the rest of Anna’s friend group decided that they would just hang out without her.

Their baby-free outings quickly became a problem for Anna once she realized what was happening. It started after their friend group went on a staycation and posted videos and pictures of their time all over Instagram.

It wasn’t long before Anna realized her friends had been hanging out without her, and she immediately called to confront them and ask why she hadn’t been invited. 

She attempted to tell her friend that it had been a last-minute plan and they were only able to find a child-free resort, so they didn’t want to hurt her feelings by asking her not to come, so they just decided not to invite her at all.

The mom’s friend finally confessed that the reason they didn’t want to hang out with her was because of her baby.

“She kept forcing me and I told her we did not want to hang out with her baby. She asked how can I say that about her baby. I asked her to leave it at that but she wouldn’t. I finally told her it’s a baby and we are all young,” she continued. 

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She attempted to explain to he friend that none of them wanted to always change their plans because of a baby that she “chose to have” and that, as young adults, they wanted to enjoy their 20s. 

That likely meant being able to go to parties, drink, and not feel obligated to change their plans because their friend brought her baby. She insisted that her baby was the only reason she wasn’t invited.

The mom’s friends are justified in wanting adult-only activities, but they should have communicated with the mom more effectively.

Considering most of the mom’s friends are in their 20s, it’s normal that they want to enjoy this time in their lives without children in tow. 

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However, instead of simply not inviting their friend, because frankly, it can sting a bit to see your close friends hanging out and posting about it when you didn’t receive an invitation, they should’ve been a bit more honest about how they felt. At the very least, they could have designated baby-friendly outings that would enable Anna to spend time with her besties.

From there, if Anna had taken offense or argued that she didn’t want to stop bringing her baby, they could’ve proceeded accordingly.

But she should’ve at least been privy to her friends’ feelings. When you are the first friend to start a family, it can be difficult to maintain your friendships, but it is possible. Communication is key, however.

At the end of the day, a baby should not be a reason to end friendships, and it’s likely this new mom wants a break from mothering every now and again. 

Last modified: December 10, 2024